My Mind A Carnival

I find myself on this road
fairway to a carnival
barkers yell my name
a sweaty fat man in dirty green
says ‘pick a card’
four percent to twenty-two
the spitting skinny one in blue
hands me devices as I walk past
I don’t know what they do
there are freaks
all twisted versions of me
cursing me
taunting me
blaming me

sawdust swirls
crowds of faceless thoughts
push me
I am led
the big top tent ahead
the Ringmaster stumbles
rummy eyed
unshaven and coughing
In a filthy suit
‘Gentleman’ he bellows
above the din
‘We have three rings tonight’
he points his grime covered finger
‘To amaze and delight’
or jolt in fright’

ring one
ponderous Pachyderms
trumpet at one end
farting and defecating
from the other
responsibilities
never fulfilled
constant burdens
useless endeavors
silk dressed Slaves
pass the hat
binding me
lying `to me
weighted in gray
doubts and hesitation
walking in an endless circle

ring two
the clowns frolic
flit about in garish colors
tripping and stumbling
busy and unproductive
climbing in and out of little cars
demanding attention
life pissing on itself
frantic and useless
insistent and laughing
rude and jealous
where I am petty
they honk their horns
where I am selfish
they throw confetti
where I hurt
they squirt tears
where I love
they dance
mocking me
parody and tragedy
I am entertained

ring three
a naked potbellied man
stands shivering in a cage
with a impotent whip
and a cane chair
lions still and sure
while three red eyed
black leopards
like evil smoke
pace the perimeter
eagerly fanged and clawed
waiting for weakness
watching for doubt

the light fades
a spotlight
finds its mark
a toothless old hag
in a faded floral nightgown
stands on one fuzzy slipper-ed foot
on the swayed back
of an emaciated palomino
singing a stairway to heaven
accompanied by a drug crazed choir
and a balding goateed geezer guitar player
woozily riffing with arthritic fingers
out of key in B

the spotlight moves
upward towards the crown
where my lofty thoughts reside
hard buttocks
in skin tight suits
perfect abs
fixed smiles
and jutting breasts
made perfect by daring
swings, flips, and catches
graceful symmetry
working without a net
where I am at my best
this I will remember

The light fades
the din fades
my concerns fade
I await my dreams
sleep

ken lehnig (c)2011

 

 

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